Breaking Out of my Shell

Fear paralyzes me and I let it. I can't decide whether this statement makes me angry with myself or disappointed in myself- or both. But I know it's true. I see all the things that people around me are doing and it excites me. My head fills with ideas of things that I can do for myself or I can do for others, but that's where it ends. All ideas. Nothing comes to fruition because I get scared. When I start thinking about what might actually be involved to get me where I need to be, I freak out. And it's easier to just stay where I am. I know I'm not happy where I am, but it's easier.

Why do I do this? Am I afraid that if I try something it won't work? Am I afraid that I'll get hurt? I think it's both of these things. I think I'm afraid of failure. I think I'm afraid of really putting myself out there. I'm afraid of change. I like to know my surroundings. While I'm intrigued by the idea of going out there and trying something new, it's so much easier and more comforting to stay with what I know.

I think about how many people are stuck like I am. And then I think about how many people have broken out and said, "screw this." They've stepped out of their shells, looked past the fear and taken life in their hands. I'm so anxious to get to that point. I don't know what's holding me back but I want to get to that place where I say "screw this" and I take my life into my own hands.