Real Life

Real life is hard. I've come to this reality not recently but it seems it's become harder so I'm facing it again.

I have been very lucky to recently marry a wonderful man and I feel blessed to have met him and now married him. I am so excited to have him as my life partner. He treats me wonderfully and while we struggle with life situations,  we have a strong bond that allows us to work through our struggles.

We were both laid off in September and while he is still trying to find a permanent job he immediately jumped into a formerly part time job as full time so he could take care of his son. He knew how important it was to be able to provide for his son - provide insurance and child support.

We have been going through a very nasty child support battle with his ex and I can only hope that it will turn out in our favor. I know that my husband is a strong, devoted man and would do anything for his son. He spends every day working hard and when he is not at work he spends his day working hard applying for every job he is qualified for and spending quality time with his son. This is something I admire about him and I am very proud of him. I know how difficult this has been for him and I am so proud of him for being a great dad.

I have been struggling since I went back to work outside the home. I find myself permanently exhausted and drained. I know most of this is me and my strive for perfection but I have had trouble balancing stress, home/work/personal life. I want to do better.

Our financial situation is in dire straits. We are barely hanging on. I hope that things will turn around for us soon as I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to meet ends.

I know this post is scattered, not well written. I haven't slept in 3 nights. I've just felt the need to get my thoughts out. I'm scared and tired. I'm also trying to maintain hope and find every possible way to take care of the things that I have on my weighted shoulders.

This is real life. I am anxious for it to improve. I know that life throws your hurdles to jump over and these are tests but I am truly ready for the tests to give me a break. :)