Ah, a new year. Time to look forward to the future and identify all the changes you're going to make in your life. I suck at this. Every year I mentally identify resolutions that I'd like to make. I've even written them out at times and I don't think I've succeeded any single year.
Is it me? Is it the resolutions? There's so much pressure!
This is how I feel about the new year (at least how I feel today). It's just another day. Why am I going to celebrate that more time is passing? In addition, my birthday is the 2nd, the day after New Year's. It's just an additional reminder that I am getting old(er). I don't like that reminder. I don't want to get older. I'm not saying I want to go back to high school or even my 20s. Heck, I don't know when I'd want to go back to. But I certainly don't want to get older! All those resolutions I've made for myself over the years that I never accomplished - I'm leaving less time to get them done! Ack!
So, resolutions...
Typical list from me:
1. I'll get a job I love
2. I'll get in shape
3. I'll eat better
I think there are sometimes more but it's funny, every website I look at lists those as the top 5 resolutions for all people. Well, that's not very unique. But I really do want to get in shape and I really do want to eat better. I really do want to love my job.
So what do I do? I have all these great ideas. I can tell you that I'm not going to sit down today and map it all out. I don't know if I'll ever get to it. I hope I will! I hope that I can find a way to make it a priority for myself!
1. Job that I love - learn to love my current job and that starts with me (yikes, that sounds like a lot of work)
2. Get in shape - I could learn to love my body as it is now but I know I could be in better shape. Of course, I should love myself as I am now. But who does? Everyone wants to change themselves. I've tried getting in shape so many times in my life and overall I've realized that I pretty much suck at it. I need a strong motivator to get myself in shape and I'm not sure what it is yet.
3. Eat better - that's a big one. I used to eat decent, now I eat horribly. Probably the worst I ever have in my entire life. I'm about to be the big 3-8 tomorrow and my eating habits are horrible. I pretty much don't eat during the day, then I eat a late dinner and it is always processed. Everything I eat is processed. And I drink a lot of coffee. I also don't drink enough water. Again, a plan I need to put together. If I have a plan, a list, I might actually do it. Of course, the first step might be learning how to cook!
4. Find happiness. I need to find true happiness within me. I have no idea how to do it. I find the worst in everything. I'm a huge negative-nelly. I put on a mask that I'm Miss Positivity but in reality I'm no more than a huge frowny face. My entire body is frowns. I need to fix that.
5. Friends, hobbies, outings... oh my! I need to get myself out of myself. I need to get out of my hole. Find some hobbies, go out and actually DO things! See my friends, make new friends!
6. $$$. I don't have anything more to say about this other than I need a hell of a lot more of it.
So, this post didn't go anywhere near where I wanted it to. I don't even know what I was thinking when I wrote it. That I was overwhelmed by resolutions? That I have no plan to improve for 2016? Damn... I don't feel any better. And by the way, I'm getting one year older tomorrow. :)
Next time, a better more positive post next time!
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