My Aunt Star

Frequently in therapy my therapist will ask me to close my eyes and look inside for the part of me that won't judge myself. The part of me that will thank myself for the hard work I'm doing. It's hard for me to do this, it's hard for me to see myself as that person within myself. So, I started imagining someone else. At first it was just a light. A bright light that would speak to my inner self. Then I realized there was a person there, it was my Aunt Star. My Aunt Star would speak to my inner self and remind me of how strong I was, how far I've come, how hard I've worked.

My Aunt Star is a beautiful woman. My uncle and grandparents lived in Florida growing up and I remember every time we went down to visit, she had little gifts for us and loved spending time with us. She was always so sweet and kind and liked to do sleepovers with my sister and I. To this day she is still the same beautiful woman. She is a wonderful host and when I go to visit her and my uncle, she ensures that I am well taken care of. She has the kindest voice and you can always tell that she is truly listening when you speak. She gives amazing hugs that convey how much she loves me.

I feel truly grateful to have her in my life and now to know that she is inside me at all times reminding me of how strong I am, it warms my heart. I couldn't go without sharing how beautiful of a woman and how special she is.

I love you Aunt Star!

Cinderella Endings

I have absolutely no doubt that the reason I loved (and still love) Disney movies is because they had the best happily-ever-after endings. Cinderella cleaned and hemmed for her cruel stepsisters, but she went to a beautiful ball and got the handsome prince in the end. Snow White had the awful Queen to deal with but then she found seven hard-working dwarves and even when she ate the poisonous apple a handsome prince rescued her! Disney even gave us Enchanted – taking place in NYC, not even fully animated! – and she still had happy animals that she talked to and sang to, who helped her with the cleaning (and she got the perfect man in the end)!

I love Disney movies, but they have truly done a number on my outlook of life. Why can’t my life be a Disney movie? When I have tons of cleaning to do why can’t some cute little birdies come and fly in the window and help me? When I have a difficult decision to make, why doesn’t my fairy godmother appear and tell me what I need to do and assure me that everything will be all right? When my stomach hurts because I’ve eaten some bad food or I have indigestion (or whatever else it may be), why can’t I be laying on a beautiful bed in the forest with flowers surrounding me and talking animals and a beautiful, rich, handsome man kisses me and I suddenly feel better (please don’t take this personal hubby – I’m trying to make a point!)?

Dagnab it, why isn’t life a Disney movie? Well, I guess that’s why Pixar came around… Someone finally realized – hey, that’s not real-life. Real-life is monsters in closets, loving wives passing away, our dear Earth turning into a trash bin, a father raising his son on his own… and I love Pixar. I love Pixar for the reality of their movies and for still having a happy ending at the end. Because even though life is tough and even though I have to clean and I have tough decisions to make and my stomach doesn’t always feel good, I can still find a happily-ever-after.

Life can be just luscious.