My Aunt Star

Frequently in therapy my therapist will ask me to close my eyes and look inside for the part of me that won't judge myself. The part of me that will thank myself for the hard work I'm doing. It's hard for me to do this, it's hard for me to see myself as that person within myself. So, I started imagining someone else. At first it was just a light. A bright light that would speak to my inner self. Then I realized there was a person there, it was my Aunt Star. My Aunt Star would speak to my inner self and remind me of how strong I was, how far I've come, how hard I've worked.

My Aunt Star is a beautiful woman. My uncle and grandparents lived in Florida growing up and I remember every time we went down to visit, she had little gifts for us and loved spending time with us. She was always so sweet and kind and liked to do sleepovers with my sister and I. To this day she is still the same beautiful woman. She is a wonderful host and when I go to visit her and my uncle, she ensures that I am well taken care of. She has the kindest voice and you can always tell that she is truly listening when you speak. She gives amazing hugs that convey how much she loves me.

I feel truly grateful to have her in my life and now to know that she is inside me at all times reminding me of how strong I am, it warms my heart. I couldn't go without sharing how beautiful of a woman and how special she is.

I love you Aunt Star!

Things I learned in therapy today....

Your mind can be a vicious creature.
Sometimes you need a good, good cry.
You need to accept your emotions.
It's not good to block your emotions.
Stop being so critical of yourself.
Take care of yourself.
Sometimes your mind won't cooperate with what you want.
Sometimes you can't convince yourself.
Sometimes it takes a LOT of work.
I hope I can handle the work it's going to take.

A coworker of mine shared an article with me that it's good to write down 3 things you're grateful for at work each day. Many struggle in their jobs but if you take the time to think of 3 positive things, it will make you feel better, no matter what those things are. Here are mine for today:
1. I was able to get valuable feedback on how to help a client.
2. I was able to present a client summary during a meeting, despite my anxiety.
3. I was able to leave the office to attend my therapy appointment.

While I'm at it (and I've tried and failed at this several times before), I'm going to list the things I'm grateful for today:
1. I have a husband who truly cares.
2. I have a husband who cooks dinner.
3. I have a husband who offers to fix my lunch in the morning.